We are Women - A Special Project - A Mother's Heartache - Boston's Story
Updated: Apr 24, 2020
A project honouring women, for women, by women
Honouring the strength and resilience of women across a diverse range of ages, stories, ethnicity and backgrounds.
A collection of images captured by Sarah from de lumière photography each partnered with a story told by the women themselves.
We are Women - Amanda, A Mother's Heartache
I met Amanda and her family quite a few years ago now, it's a connection tied in with part of my own story.
Amanda is a Nurse who works on the hospital ward in the Children's Hospital that my daughter was on for a long time. I discovered that one of my close friends from high school worked on the ward one night while I was staying with my daughter. Years later I put a call out for families that would like a portrait session and my high school friend suggested that Amanda and her family take part as they had a newborn. They agreed and their family shoot is still one of my favourites.
Amanda and Kevin then asked me to capture their wedding day, followed by a pregnancy announcement not long after.
Little Boston was a wonderful surprise for their family, but it hasn't been an easy ride for any of them.
Boston - our third born child and our third son.
Our little surprise baby as we hadn’t planned to have any more children - but an absolute blessing. We are a family of five. There is myself, my husband Kev, Camden who is 5.5yrs, Nash who is almost 4yrs and Boston who is 10months old.
Boston was born healthy, a little small but healthy nonetheless. All that anyone ever wishes for when they are pregnant is a healthy baby and we were so thankful that our little man was exactly that.
A few weeks after his birth we noticed something wasn’t quite right. Boston had developed a condition that required emergency surgery to fix. He underwent his first surgery at 28 days old and we thought our little boy was all fixed up and we’d get on with being our family of five.
Although the surgery did indeed fix his condition, it became apparent just a few short weeks later that all was not right with our little man. Not long after we realised we would have a chronically ill child who would need many medical interventions to live a normal life.
We are only 10 months into our journey but the variety of emotions we have felt over that time is almost indescribable. Some of those emotions I have never felt before in my life and some I wish to never experience ever again.
At 9pm on July 2nd 2019, a regular night during a six week admission in hospital, Boston stopped breathing. The emergency buzzer was triggered and an arrest call was made. Thankfully for us, the nurses sprung into gear and there was a doctor on the ward who begun resuscitating Boston. The sound of the emergency bell, the sight of my 2 month old baby floppy and lifeless and the fear of losing him has haunted me every single day since that night.
These moments are moments that every parent dreads, and to have those fears come true is traumatising.
Our little boy has gone on to have medical issues and complications one after another. Our family unit has been tested beyond measure and somehow we have been able to stick together. It hasn’t been easy, there’s been days where we’ve felt just so overwhelmed that walking away seemed so appealing, but there’s no way in our hearts that we could ever do that.
The toll it takes on a family as a whole is humongous. Our other two children have been greatly impacted by the medical needs of their brother. The time I have had to spend away from them - the days, nights, weeks and even months I’ve spent in the hospital with Boston and not being able to see them every day is horrible. I missed out on Camden's martial arts grading, his first martial arts competition, his preschool graduation and Kev missed out on Camden's first day of kindergarten because Boston had surgery that same day. Our older boys now have a vocabulary that includes some of the biggest medical terms around and have an understanding of medical procedures and practices well beyond their years.
Their brother's extensive medical history and needs play a role in the boys lives on a daily basis. They often suffer from anxiety when Boston has to attend appointments as they have the fear he will need to remain in the hospital, which also means I am taken away from them again. So much reassurance is given to the big boys that no matter where we are, we are still a family and love each other no matter what.
With so much behind us and so much more staring us in the face that Boston will need to go through in the near future, we will again have to continue the battle with a chronically ill child. With the love and support from our amazing family and friends we will get through. We will just keep on keeping on to ensure our boys are loved beyond measure.
Amanda - Warrior Woman and mother of three
Women of all ages and diversity welcome!
I am so very grateful to each and every person/family/couple that trusts me with their story, but especially the women who bare themselves, entrusting that I will capture their story, their pain and their joy authentically.